I am an immigrant twice over. My parents arrived in Australia 26 years ago, fleeing the civil war in Sri Lanka, with nothing but two suitcases and an 18 month old me and my 3 month old sister. I cannot imagine the fear they must have felt walking into a foreign place like Sydney, where the lands are wide open, and the faces are (almost) all white; where knowing English was not only a requirement, but an expectation. Through sheer hard work and determination, my parents have become the success story of the immigrant experience, raising 3 children who have all successfully completed university (with at least 2 degrees each and work for amazing companies), run their own business successfully for 20 years and negotiated a minefield of challenges since they day they landed. I have repeated the immigrant experience a second time by moving to London 5 years ago, but my story is different. I have moved as a confident, vivacious and focused woman who isn't afraid to make new friends or to challenge myself. I live in a fashionable part of town, with endless resources and a husband who has always taken care of me. So in thinking about this experience, I also wonder what it must have been like for my mother to be a mother in circumstances that are challenging even for myself, let alone for a woman who couldn't drive until she was 37, a woman whose english has taken 26 years to develop, for a woman to raise children who's ideas on life challenge every conservative thought my parents have ever held. It must be hard to let your children exist on their terms, and not your own and I respect my parents even more for not conforming to the constraints of their immigrant view, but have wholeheartedly embraced the idea of allowing their children to be their own people.
Sometimes I walk past the council estates in Hackney, and I wonder what lies behind each door. Are they immigrants? Are they poor? Are they finding raising children a challenge? I find it challenging, despite my available resources. I couldn't imagine doing it with limited english, no partner or being constrained to the 4 walls of my house. I know there are many people in London who have never taken the tube, never been to Central London or have never gone further than their immediate suburb. Social mobility is a real challenge, and the London of today shows the stark contrast between the "haves" and the "have nots." I cant help but wonder how much women in this world struggle. They struggle to raise their children right, to make sure they are fed, clothed, loved and nurtured, often at a huge expense to themselves. I know that not every mother gets it right, and not every mother is perfect, but it must be recognised that the immigrant mother perseveres. I have my own mother as my inspiration, but I can honestly say that there are many more of you who walk down the street with a stroppy child, carrying heavy shopping, worrying about money, time and life. You are recognised. You are important. You are doing a great job. Being a mama is hard, but lets take some time out to acknowledge those who are having it harder than us. Keep on movin mama, you are more powerful than you think.
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